According to science, between 60 to 90% of people who quit smoking relapse in the first 6 month. How does this sound? Does it sound grim? So why do so many people relapse?
You can think of quitting smoking kind of like a person trying to lose weight, so they go on a food diet. For example, a person goes on a food diet and only eats fruits in order to lose weight. We think this improvised change of food intake will help us lose that extra kilograms/pounds, but what really happens is that the person is starving the organism of necessary nutrients. What happens after a few days or weeks, when the diet is over…?
The person is completely starved of the required proteins and minerals needed for a healthy and balanced life, so they feel bad, tired, irritated, depressed; and the way to get back to happiness is actually eating again as before, and many times even worse, eating even more than before the diet.
So the person was trying to lose weight, then went on the diet, was motivated enough to carry it for a few days, and afterwards they reverted to the old behaviour of eating unhealthy, possibly even unhealthier than before the diet, meaning, they will probably gain more weight after the diet.
What we want is to learn from this person and not follow in their footsteps. We do not want an excruciating diet, we want sustainable change.
So, what causes sustainable change in the context of an addiction? To answer this question we must understand what an addiction actually is.
Why do we smoke/drink/eat/sex in unhealthy amounts? We do it because our brain is trying to escape the current reality. Maybe a fight with the colleague or spouse, maybe kids issues, money issue, boredom, loneliness, etc. We have these regular negative events/people/emotions in our lives, and the way the brain deals with them is by… running away from them into to comfort of the substance.
So you see, we can switch the substance, but we do not/can not switch the negative events/people/emotions in our lives. However, if you do want to stop smoking/drinking/etc, the way to do it is by being able to handle the negative events/people/emotions in our lives. No one told us how to do this unfortunately… probably because our parents and teachers also did not know how to do it.
How do people who don’t understand addiction try quit smoking? They use all kind of tricks they find on Facebook, for example, the famous chewing gum.
Is chewing gum sustainable change? Will chewing gum help you handle the negative events and people in your life? What happens when you do quit smoking and replace it with chewing gum? You are probably going to destroy your stomach, that is what happens. Not very smart.
How about aroma therapy, fidget toys, holding a pen or pencil between the lips? Are these methods sustainable? What happens when you will be let go from your workplace, will you put a pencil between your lips or a cigarette? What will you do when you get the chilling news that your parent has cancer? Will you calm yourself down using aroma therapy or go straight to the friend that has always been there for you, the trusted cigarette?
How about “motivation”? Is motivation sustainable? The people will cheer up you using platitudes like: “You got this”, “prayers sent”, “you got this, you can do it”, “sending you prayers”
But do these cheers help you when you have a job when the boss does not respect you? Do they help you when your child has an accident and is in bed at the hospital? Will you suddenly become happy and not light up a cigarette when someone tells you:
“You got this!!!” three exclamation points, “Stay strong and positive” or “Fantastic, you are doing fabulous”?
Of course not, cheering you up will not make your boss respect you and will not help your child on the hospital bed.
So STOP listening to people, and start listening to the only person who actually knows what is going on: yourself. You are the only one in control of your life, and you DO have the power to stop the addiction.
What DOES work when quitting an addiction is YOU, and to be specific, it is your psychological education! The course will guide your every step until you become an expert at understanding how the mind works and how to practice against addiction.
You will no longer run away from the negative events and people in your live, you will no longer escape reality by using a substance; you will be able to handle anything life gives you, the good and the bad as well.
So, stop you anti-depressants right now, drop your chewing gum, turn off the cheerleading from the people on the internet. Start now the course, enjoy it, have fun, and become free of smoking!